Rantings And Sad Endings

2009-12-12T22:55:00.007+08:00

2009-12-10T23:45:00.002+08:00

i sleep with tears amongst the thorns
i wont leave you for anything in the world.
Believe in me please.
I can give up the world
You cant take away my suyin
Give it back
Or take my life
Won't you?
That nightmare seem so true..

2009-12-09T23:40:00.003+08:00

Mine babyy (Suyin) drew/wrote this, i really think its cute.

What should i say.why does it always have to happen to me. why me. why always me.
i thought it would not turn out this way. not like this. do you have to put me off like that.
i wasnt serious. i really really wasnt. why would i want to break with you, when you are mine one and only?

Its been so fast and eight days' being together <3.
Its a pity i cant stop time, i want to be with you forever.
This will be the last time I take it.
This will be the last time I cry. This will be the last time.
This will also be the last time I make you cry

Maybe anyone can be what they wanna be if they really work to be. People say NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE. Hearing and nod is one thing, believing's another.
When i actually think about it, its like, if you wanna be the richest person on earth, then you have to start working and studying like crazy dont you. If you want to get to moon, one way is to get into Astronomy, the other, you can try building a staircase up dont you?
After all, they say nothing is impossible. I will have you back, nothing is impossible.

So if im going to build a chocolate empire, then maybe i should start saving for chocolates.
I just want to be with you forever.

2009-12-08T23:38:00.003+08:00

ღღHappy one week anniversary dearღღ
,+*+*+,
(o112o9)

*+-.-+*
To mine dearest babyy, Suyin:
Sometimes you feel everything & nothing all at once. Sometimes you'll find yourself smiling while missing someone at the same time. At times, you can absolutely love a person, yet while wanting to hate them so badly. Life comes w/o guarantee, except that smiling will brighten your face, laughing will enhance your eyes, falling in love will change your life.
No matter how tough the going gets, I'll be the first to be by your side, watching & protecting over you. I promise I'll love you as long as I live. But I want you to know, you are the one I love the most. :D

I find it amazing that i can think of you whenever i go. Then smile to myself looking like an idiot. But the problem is i dont even mind being an idiot, thats how crazy liking someone is.
Sometimes I feel like the wind. I come and go in any direction, dont know where I am going. But when I stop at see whats happening. It makes me sad.

如果要我放弃全世界我也会放弃。
至少还有你直得让我珍惜。
每当你出现我觉得是生命的奇迹。
也许全世界我也可以忘记。
就是不想听到失去你的消息。

2009-12-07T21:48:00.001+08:00

I need you like grass needs water,
&like the sun needs to be hotter.
I need you cloud needs the rain,
&the mental house need the insane.
I need you the way sweet tooth need candy,
&like the beack needs to be sandy.
I need you like heart need a beat,
&like the hot racing cars need the street.
I need you the way christians need the church,
&like lost-tourist need to have maps to search.
I need you like the rich needing cash,
&also like the drug abusers need the hash.
I need you like how criminals need jail,
&also the reason why boats need sails.
Well, me without you is like a camera without flash,
A stripper without an ass,
A car without gas,
A pimp with no cash.
I just NEED you in mine life!

SUYIN <3

this is the truth.

2009-12-06T22:53:00.002+08:00

I have left her once, and i regreted a lot a lot. I have broke with her before, and its not a nice feeling. You cant make me break with her again, i wont soften. You promised to give her happiness but you never did.
This time i am with her, and i wont even bear to hurt her. I wont leave her this time, cause i just realised i love her a lot. You can go on with your acts, create ur useless stories, but nothing matters. The only thing that matters to me now is that i am with her, period.
You can go ahead and fuck me in anyway you want, to make me give up, but i can tell you this, i wont.
And shaun if you are reading this, FUCK YOU!
Because without her, mine life is like black and white.

an intricate piece of paper.

2009-12-05T17:18:00.001+08:00

I feel grateful knowing that every morning i wake up to someone thinking of me.
Someone wating for my wake up call.
Someone waiting for me to get showered, changed, have breakfast and leave for school.
Someone waiting for me to board the train.
Someone waiting for me to get a good seat in class.
Someone waiting for me to have a lunch.
Someone waiting for me to have ample rest during break times.
Someone constantly praying that i have good grades.
Someone constantly hoping that i have fun with school activities.
Someone constantly concerned about my wellness and self-being.
Someone constantly picking me up when i fall.
Someone constantly feeding me with love.
Someone constantly wiping my tears when i cry.I feel like a baby.
Because, i am yours.
And, you know who you are (:

i like being alone.

2009-12-04T23:15:00.000+08:00

I am not a fan of the Twilight saga.
But, i am going to watch New Moon, alone.
I guess, there's a first for everything.
I swear, hearing you cry makes my heart breaks.
Because, i can't be there to wipe off the tears from your face.

Pictured speak a thousand words

2009-12-03T21:05:00.001+08:00

I am scared

2009-12-02T19:59:00.000+08:00

im afraid of myself. i saw the change earlier on i guess.
im scared. im scared dead.convinced that ive changed.
changed to someone i would have fear last time.i saw myself being afraid of losing you.
i saw what i would become without you. im scared once again.
i wanna turn back. then i saw the old me.
he waved at me and said 'come back'. i ran ahead. ahead of everything. until i saw nothing of the old me.
i ran ahead of time. i overthrew all of what i had. then im left of nothing.
i tried turning back to pick up what ive lost. what i saw was darkness.
im lost...
i screamed. i screamed and cried. nobody came forward.
help..help..help..im fading away to darkness.help..
im going to stop. right now.i can still see myself.im going to walk back.im going to walk straight back.
no hesitation. im not going to call help. im scared.

How often do i get the 'high up on clouds' mentality?

2009-12-01T20:10:00.000+08:00

i have the most superest duperest cutest girlfriend in the world (:
Tung Suyin, i love you <3

i am so gonna try*

2009-11-30T18:04:00.000+08:00

i cant do this. i jus cant. i cant forget or anything.
i cant. i jus cant. im sorry i made your life so miserable.
im so sorry. im reall reall sorry.
i am gonna try and ask you to be together with me again tomorrow, i just cant bear being without you<3
hope fer the best ><

step into mine heart

2009-11-29T19:44:00.000+08:00

Woke up this morning with a really bad headache.
ohman. was the worse i ever had.
She has nobody to love and nobody to love back.
Can everything just stay buried deep down?

2009-11-28T21:08:00.000+08:00

I cant focus ever since i left her.
Things feel so plain.
What have i to anticipate for.
I cant control my anger.
Vulgarities seemed to become part of me. Im going haywire. Save the awkward things and all.
Save those who are hurt in the process.
Save all the disaster that ive create.
Save all the tears.
Save all the pain.
Save all the embarrassments.
Save all the pretence.
Save all the hello and goodbyes.
Save all the smiles.
Save all the worry.
Save all the uncertainty.
Save all secrets from spilling.
Save all the sweet memories.
Let's put a stop to all these.
Let's stop things from becoming more complicated.
I know, things aint that simple from the start.
There werent just me and you.
I was naive and all.
Sorry sorry and sorry.
But suyin, i really loved you. what should i do?
How i wish we met earlier.

thunder thunder

2009-11-27T20:32:00.000+08:00

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder
Suyin, how i wished u know i liked u too. sigh.

you made mine heart beat

2009-11-26T21:59:00.000+08:00

Dying isnt scary right?
Being dead aint scary either i guess.
I think im not scared of death.
Its not at all scary la. Just as long as you dont feel pain.
The non-pain method of committing suicide will not be pain also what.
So why everyone so scared of dying?
Or they are afraid they wont be able to do something or see anyone anymore.
Ive got nothing to lose.
Just that i cant listen to my favorite songs anymore and i cant see my friends anymore and i cant talk anymore and i cant eat anymore.
But if im dead, i wouldnt care much will i?
If im dead, i dont have to face moments like that anymore.
Im not suffering from depression.
And im not turning crazy cause i still talk alot.
How do you describe those times when someone cause you to just break down?
Tell me what to do.
Everyone seem to have their life and problems to attend to.
I guess this is only for me to take and all.
Im scared.Im so scared.
That i wont be able to take it.
How am i suppose to stay fine? I feel like fainting but im not fainting and i cant faint.
If you call this sucidal thoughts, then im screwed.
Cause sucidal thoughts aint fine.Or its just self-pity.
What if you wont get to see me tomorrow like you do yesterday?
Will that matter much?
I really miss you.

so used to you

2009-11-25T16:30:00.000+08:00

SPEECHLESS.
what can i do but to wait.
why dont it ever rain.
give me a chance to feel down man.
i miss you.
i cant even play the keys properly with your name in my head.

At the cross junction.

2009-11-24T21:16:00.000+08:00

why do you always keep me alway with thoughts, i cant help but keep thinking of you.
1 minute to midnight was a thing.
1 minute pass midnight's another.
hate this me.
i really cant stand myself today.
if im someone else, i would have probably slap me.
no distinct idea why im like that, all i know is she being with someone made me like this.
But its my fault fer leaving her, i am starting to appreciate her, but its too late.
the red light came on.
its time to stop.
long john's drink make you cry.
my phone dropped twice today.
the weather's strangely cold when i want it to be.
tampines mall outdoor escalator's scary.
i dont wanna wait for you again.
the green man started walking.
its time to go.
how i wish you know i loved you.

2009-11-23T20:15:00.000+08:00

i didnt noe why i cry again.
stupid me.
i really did not know why.
its just when i look at the sky.
tears just fall.
only two.

its you again. i think.
Suyin, i really miss you a whole fucking lot!

knock mine heart against yours.

2009-11-22T18:07:00.000+08:00

i hope that this is not the end. it cant be. please god. dun let it be. i cant leave her just like that. i cant. i love her so much it has become part of my life. ahyo. it cant be the end. it jus cant be.
it jus happened so sudden. oh gosh.
up to today i still regret breaking with her, suyin.. i did not mean to do so.
if any chances you read this, forgive me please?
all i can do is cry cry and cry. wad worst can happen?
life ju cant be worst.
it jus cant be.
i will go kill myself if i cant be with her anymore.
i will.

2009-11-21T22:43:00.002+08:00

I asked God what have i done to deserve all these.
Mine heart hurts now from leaving he. but what i can draw comfort is that she will be happy with other guys.
But i really loved her very very much, how i wish i had not broken up with her, mine heart really hurts now.

2009-11-20T15:38:00.000+08:00

It's funny how my eyes have been trained to such an extent that they're now certified 'hot girl GPRS'. In other words, I'm a 'pervert'. Why the inverted commas, you ask. Because well, I'm not actually one. I don't know how else to put this across. No one believes me anymore. Do I have to stop watching porn and start looking at guys' cocks? Wait, that'd only make matters worse, I'd be labeled 'gay' and 'homo' <_< What's with the random rants? Nothing different from the norm, I always do those. I'm just sick of doing my Maths homework.
I still cant let go of you, suyin.
Sigh.

2009-11-19T23:13:00.000+08:00

It all started with coincidence.
Why why why.
Why did i mistook coincidence as fate.
Tell me. Its just pure coincidence.
Cupid does not exist. But i fell in love at first sight when i first saw you.

2009-11-18T21:15:00.000+08:00

It rained halfway on PIE.
[Caution, Drive Slowly] reads on the screen.
Everything started to slow down.
And i saw things that i seen before.
The motorcyclists who stop to put on their raincoats.
Passengers pulling the safety belt.
Everyone preparing themselves for the rain.
Shielding themselves from the rain.
All i see last time were those raindrops on the window being swiped back by the wind.
Oblivious of the things happening around me. i only know its raining. Raining hard.
Now i learnt to look at things around me. the earth keeps on spinning. things keep happening. move on is what im gonna say.
yeah, you need umbrellas, raincoats, wellingtons.
but whats better than staying indoors.dry and Safe.
Away from girls, save mineself from the heartache

2009-11-17T18:14:00.000+08:00

I don't know where to start, but i don't want it to end.
"Have I missed the part that we knew each other before?"
No, i dont. You might, but please don't.
Goodbyes, curses and closing chapters,
leave them behind
I'll meet you at the sidewalks
on a one fine day
EVERYTHING
how could you be nothing?
you're every little thing.

2009-11-16T12:50:00.000+08:00

You're like the sun in the solar system, without you, my life is like the dark hole
Ok that was seriously random, but from the bottom of my heart. LOL!

2009-11-15T16:38:00.000+08:00

The truth is from the monent i saw you.
I lived in constant thoughts of you
When i woke up in the morning till i fell asleep.
I had only one thought - YOU!
love is one big illusion
I have gotten all kinds of advise even from tarot cards.
But its not helping, i still lost you.
I still pretend that i dont love you.
I pretend that i dont give a shit, i dream abt it.
I really love you, but why must i be the one that leave u?
Please dont go, shaun i really hate you.
Seeing your couple ring made me cry a lot.
Please all tell me its a dream.
heavens please give me a chance to make things right..

2009-11-14T23:43:00.000+08:00

you are so near yet so far, i could see you but couldnt reach for you, i wished you were mine, but you will never be, i've been thinking, how nice would it be to be without a heart, at least i need not get tortured under th love for you, and need not be afraid that you would be gone, perhaps i would get to know you soon i dont know why i get emo when i see you but i'll get very excited too. i wished i could talk to you, but i couldnt so i have decided, to leave my love for heaven to decide i wont force anything, and let nature take its course perhaps its th best way for th both of us

2009-11-13T14:52:00.000+08:00

As i was trying to sleep today, what you said interrupted me.
Every single sarcastic word you said to me hurts. Oh well, for the better i guess.
Your words disrupted mine thoughts, i cant think till now, what the hell man.
Mine mind is overloaded with image of you and shaun's couple ring.
Never claiming to like me, i was never sure.
Was never sure, but i still wrote it.
For you always, mine one and only.

2009-11-12T20:52:00.000+08:00

I know you're asleep, I can feel you moving over there
Youve been playing with the seam, in perhaps your worn out nightwear
My lips are bleeding like hell, from biting on them just to stay awake
Its not like Im gonna need them, you wont be around to see them bleed and break
All that I do, comes back to you so Ill just think about you
Till theres nothing in my head, all I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I'd rather be dead.
Im like a movie without an ending, you know Ive got nowhere to go
And it makes me wanna throw up to see myself wanna give up more than you'll ever know.
Everythings supposed to have a happy ending
But the record keeps skipping and the needle keeps bending
Like the road to the bridge that has no end
I guess this is the end.